Our girls have some change along with the season. They are going to be going "home". Ms. Tanya will be adding two little girls to her home and everyone involved is excited. The Bear will be attending two days of pre-school a week with a WONDERFUL teacher. We are so blessed to have her in the lives of our children.
This change was brought upon by a lot of praying. While the pre-school they were at is wonderful, it was just not our place. Not what worked for us. We loved everyone there, but my girls are used to having "family" during the days when I can't be there. Different strokes for different folks. Isn't that how that saying goes?
I don't doubt that I will always second guess myself as a mother. I won't always get it right the first time. My idea of the perfect solution may be so far off that I look in the mirror and say "What was I thinking?" But, the bottom line is that they are mine. I have this one life to do what I feel in my heart is what will mold them into the individuals I know they are capable of being. I love them so very much. And like every parent, I only want what is best for them. I will do what ever I must to make that happen. I will make whatever sacrifices I have to. Because when you are a mother, that is just what you do. Last night, I slept a full night for the first time in a month. I can't really use the word relief, because that word means that I have been worried. I have just not felt "right". I feel "right" now. I can honestly say that I don't look forward to all of the times I don't feel "right" as they grow because I know some of them are going to smack me hard in the face.
Until then, while they are little, I am going to recognize that my worries are nothing. And as long as they are happy and healthy, I couldn't ask for more. We will continue to love and grow together as a family. That is one thing I am sure of.
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